by : T. Fennel Crenshaw

"We both know what memories can bring. They bring diamonds and rust."
Diamonds and Rust - Joan Baez

A few weeks ago, I pulled out the old cardboard box from my closet. The one that reads, "Chiquita Bananas" on the side and has the taped up bottom, corners, and crushed blue top; and along with it, memories of a time when my youth was wild and free, and the love of writing was new and bold. I remembered how it once served as a stand for my bedside reading lamp and ash tray in my room on Ebenezer Street, when I was a young, starving musician and sometimes construction laborer. I didn't have much back then... I didn't need much; an old donated mattress for the rented bedroom floor, a Salvation Army found lamp to write by, a small black and white TV that never worked, my trusted guitar, and my box. My box has been with me ever since I can remember...at least 16 years, and it holds all my old songs lyrics, and poems from when I first fell in love with the possibilities of writing and singing.

It had been at least 6 or 7 years since I last pried off the lid and took a peek back in time to the boy I use to be, his thoughts and dreams. Reading the anguished writings of a young man who left home at age 17 to pursue his crazy fantasies of making music and changing the world. How is it that a box of faded and yellowed pages can bring such a flood of emotion to the senses? How can these memories still contain such powerful feelings that instantly reverse the margins of time and transform me back to a world of fresh, white crispness-and spiral bound virgin words?

"...your voice stirs my being
to the depths of my beginning
long before I was born,
you were the ending.

Here I was meant,
now to be known-
the rhyme and the reason...
of the mysterious song."

Tommy Fennell Crenshaw 1983

There is a hidden ally inside each of us that may be a simple, yet surprisingly over-looked, source of inspiration for crafting some very powerful lyrics and songs- ourselves.

Think, for a minute about you and your best friend, or a friend from child-hood that you still stay in touch with after all these years. Does it seem that long ago you first met? Do you feel any older now than you were then? The same can be said for precious ideas, thoughts and memories from days past. And these ideas, thoughts, and memories are a perfect catalysts for writing. Memories of the past can help us shape our future in any direction we choose. Think about your favorite songs...the ones that have that magical power to take you back to the very place you first heard them. Those songs are timeless as we say, because they are truly free to span the dimension's of time and make us feel exactly the same as when we first heard them. With all that is new (these penny a dozen songs we hear day in and day out on the radio) what is it that we long to hear most? Why, the songs that take us away to another world... to where and when we held court, where we fell in love, where we grew older, and where we made the most important connections with others in our lifetime.

There is a hidden ally inside each of us that may be a simple, yet surprisingly over-looked, source of inspiration for crafting some very powerful lyrics and songs- ourselves. That part of us maybe forgotten or ignored with time. Memories, and how they are dealt with, are largely the reasons we are who we are today. What about tapping those past memories, those abilities we possessed, the pages of yesteryear, whether positive or negative...and projecting a future of self design...through writing.

I am a firm believer in living in the here and now because it is all we have. But it helps to look at where we've come from and how we got to the here and now (especially if we desire to shape how we will live our tomorrow's.) You may be saying, "Don't we all write about our memories and use our memories of how we were to write by?" Yes, we do. What I'm talking about are the "memories" we have written about and tossed to the side. The person we may very well have been at one time...but abandoned through the years of simply living life with all its struggles and its keen ability to make us loose sight of the big picture.

The poetry and songs we thought were not up to par, or too revealing, or revealed too little, the ballads thought too simple or so unlike its creator-those "memories" we all write about, at one time, were the present... remember? Remember how life was, how you wanted life to be...how you "knew" at one time...or didn't "know." That's what I'm talking about. This is not a motivational piece on "Personal Writing Power-how to take control in 3 easy, painless steps", but a call to "Be Here Now," through the eyes of the virgins we all use to be, for the sake of exploring new options in writing.

Writing is about taking and making memories. A thought presently formed, presently committed to page...is forever to be read again, and enjoyed for its ability to take us back to what was, at one time, the here and now...now the past. What greater advantage do we now have than our years of maturing, growing, and learning from one another how to be better writers? With that knowledge we can look back on our earlier works and draw new inspiration to carry forward to a future of our own creation.

Take the time to go find your own old box and notebooks full of forgotten words from long ago; after all this time, they're still waiting just where they were left, and spend some time re-introducing yourself to the person who wrote them all those years ago. Remember the person you were then. Picture how you looked, where you were at the time, and what inspired you to write this particular piece in the first place. After you get to the bottom of your stack, ask yourself a question: What do I know about myself now, that I can use to pick-up where these writings left off? Take a piece that grabbed your attention, one that maybe was full of ringing questions as to why things were the way they were, and give the answers that you now may know. Reply to yourself in a round of call and response between what use to be, and what is now.

Another way to keep the past and future alive in the present is to write a letter or series of letters to yourself, full of all the questions, anguish, longing, happiness, or grief you may be experiencing. Send them off to be later read and answered through the eyes of the one whom you will one day be. Write these letters to yourself when you experience intense emotions and trials, or wonderful memories that you want to be reminded of later, address them to yourself and put a stamp on the envelope. Write a date of significance on the bottom right hand corner, such as a special birthday...say your 21st or 50th, or an anniversary of some important occasion, or any date in the future for that matter, and drop them in the mail box. When they return to you, file them away by the date they are to be opened, and then forget about them. When the time comes to open them up and read...you'll experience the unique perspective of visiting yourself and your past, as you looked forward to the future.

I found some pretty interesting pieces in my box of memories. I couldn't believe how atrocious my handwriting use to be-some pieces I couldn't even read. But I did find 4 or 5 old songs that I could still remember the melody to and played them best to my recollection. It was surprising to sing the words of a forgotten me, to give voice to a moment in time that seemed so far away, yet at the same time, seemed like only yesterday. Some songs really surprised me. I found my voice lifted into the air with poetry that just could not have been written by me. Who had penned these familiar and unknown tales set to verse and rhyme?

I think I'll keep my box of songs by my side of the bed again for a few days, or until I get a chance to go through them all again, one by one, in case I over-looked something in my rush to get to the bottom. I doubt there is any Grammy material inside on those jumbled pages, but there is a slight chance that sleeping amongst the words and music, is a notion that has been silent for too long. Maybe an idea has ripened gracefully with age, chords and notes may have jumped from page to page finally discovering a home...and, I may find that time has written a bold new song for me to sing. That is why in life we must consider each season carefully, live each day passionately, and take each day one word at a time.

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